The latter part: Still, I want to change myself.

Stars twinkling in the night sky

“You know better than anyone the sorrow of mourning, the pain of abandonment. You know deeper than anyone else how much it pains and how sad it is.

And it’s not all.

Under the stars, the woman’s embrace of me becomes a little stronger. It was a strong, yet very gentle and warm force.

“You also know better than anyone else the folly of your own evil deeds. So…”

You can certainly restart again.

“What can I do for it?”
My face was wet with tears as I was enveloped in a warmth I had forgotten. No, this may be the first time I have ever felt this way.
“What should I do?… what should I do?”
I couldn’t say a word than that. Because the tears, the sobs just wouldn’t stop. I remembered the feeling of everything inside me flooding outward at that moment.

Can even this helpless me really change and start over? So much filth. So much blood. But I can start over, can’t I? That I can get back on my feet? That I can change.


The woman continues to speak, wrapping me in warmth, rubbing my back, and sobbing.
“Don’t worry, I will always be there for you, no matter what. And Ren, that person, will be there for you.”
“That person?”
“Yes, I am sure he will be able to help you. He, who saved us from despair and change ourselves, definitely will save you.”
The woman moves my body slightly away from her own, makes frontal eye contact with me, and gently grabs both of my shoulders. And she wiped my tears with her hand silently and gently.
“So don’t worry. You are not alone anymore.”
In her eyes, I could see the kindness as well as the sadness, strength, and all the feelings in her heart.
“I don’t know what will happen to… Maybe, just maybe, it will be out of control again. But…”
I answered looking straight into the woman’s eyes.
“I want to change myself.”
The woman is staring at me.
“I want to change myself.”
I said so again. And…
“So I will trust you. I will trust you.”
The woman nodded once as if she understood.
My name… my name is Tatumi. And you?”
“My name is Oyuu, Oyuu.”

That is my encounter with Oyuu who saved me.

“The tenth journey (completed).”





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