The latter part: Sorrow, love and…

I, who had not fully recovered from my injuries, walked out of the building, supported by the woman, and we both sat down on a wooden couch by the side of the building. Suddenly, I casually looked up at the sky and saw a number of small stars twinkling above the night sky.

Stars twinkling in the night sky

Several stars looking down on us from there. Those stars would have no way of knowing the anguish I am in. The stars will continue to shine purely and brightly today on that sky, without any anguish, without knowing anything. But I …
“Sometimes I go out like this and look at the stars. Especially on nights when I can’t sleep.”
The woman said so.

“Do you have nights when you can’t sleep.”
It was a little unexpected. I watched this woman for a few days, and I didn’t see the slightest hint of that in her graceful, compassionate care for the sick and the poor, no matter what the occasion.

“Yes, I dream about them sometimes. The dreams of my now deceased father and mother. My father and mother were my only family, whom I trusted more than anyone else and whom I adored more deeply than anyone else. But now they are …”
The woman sadly lowered her eyes and squeezed her chest with her right hand.

The woman told me what had once happened to her. She told me that she used to be the daughter of a certain noble family living in Kyoto. But one day, an epidemic suddenly killed her father and mother, leaving her alone. And she abandoned her dilapidated home and became an orphan wandering the streets of the capital.

In the capital today, there are many other lonely people besides me.
Now, the capital of Kyoto is sick.
Maybe that’s why they are seeking peace from the heart.

“It is still … very painful to suddenly lose someone whom I loved and relied on so much. The sadness, the pain, continues to remain with me. And perhaps it will remain with me forever.”
In the moonlight, I could see streaks of tears running down the woman’s face. The woman wipes away the tears with her hand.
“That’s why I look at the stars at night. The stars are watching over us from the sky at all times. Perhaps my father and mother are also watching over me as stars. I have a feeling that’s the case.”

I looked again at the stars twinkling in the sky.

Stars twinkling in the night sky


Maya, Sara, you guys are there too? You guys are now star too, watching over me from the sky. No, I doubt it. I wonder if you guys are watching over me in my helpless sinful body. Because of me, you got to be …

“Me, too.”
I naturally opened my mouth to the woman at that moment.
“I lost something, something important, too. The most important for me.”
The woman is looking at me.
“But …, but two of them, two of them because of me.”

I got hard and put my eyes down. The hard feelings come back again. I couldn’t resist and closed my eyes in the dark. How painful it is just to remember. It evokes sadness in me, bring pain to my body, and makes me feel a deep and profound sense of guilt.

As I thinking this, suddenly a warm hand touches one of my hands that I had been throwing away.

Hand to hand touching

Her hand slowly rubs my cold hand. I open my eyes again and look at the woman, and she looks at me and slowly nods once. Gently and slowly, with tears in both of her eyes.
“Don’t keep your pain and sorrow to yourself. If it’s okay with me, I’ll take it all in. I will take all your pain and sorrow”, she said, placing the palm of her other hand on her chest.
“But …”
“Don’t worry, I will not abandon you. No matter what I hear, no matter what happens, I will never abandon you, ever.”

I will not abandon you.

There was something strong-willed in the woman’s eyes. I felt there was a gentle, yet unwavering will that would not waver no matter what happens.

Maybe I can talk to this person.
If I talk to this person, something might change.

Maybe it was because I thought so. I slowly began to tell her about me. About me I once was. About my family I once loved.

The ninth play (complete)




京都三条会商店街北 薬膳&カフェ 雅(みやび) サイト制作・運営 一般社団法人シシン