The first chapter: From the depth of darkness

Where is here?


At that time, I was lying in the dark. I can’t understand where here is and why I am lying here at all. What I can know clearly is that the darkness is enveloping here. I can’t know nothing but that here is enveloped by darkness.

I neither cannot see nothing nor hear nothing. And there is nothing here.
I was in such a place.

In the midst of such darkness, I still try to move my body somehow. But the body that should have been mine is now as cold and hard as a stone and hardly moves at all. When I tried to speak, my throat ached as if crushed, my mouth was paralyzed and could not move and even produce a muffled voice.

But it is not OK that I remain lying here like this. As I thought so, I tried to move my body forcibly. Then, at that moment, the out-of-this-world pain of epic proportions came at me relentlessly. Yes, it was as if it tore through me, a spectacular pain that I could not bear very well. It stabs and tears at me relentlessly in the darkness, dragging me into a world of never-ending pain.

What on earth, what happened to me?

Although I tried to think out somehow, with my head stunned by extreme pain and the freezing cold that comes from the break, I couldn’t think nothing anymore.


It has pain, suffering, and sadness.

Image of pain

While I moaned and groaned in pain that never ended in the darkness, I knew I was going to be taken over by the evil of the darkness again.
It is also a deep regret that will never end and will never disappear.

But it’s late, too late, too late.

However hard I exclaimed against the darkness, however hard I solicited forgiveness, and however hard I seek helps, the voice cannot be delivered to anyone anymore. Anyone won’t save me anymore.

It is obvious.

When I thought so, I was clearly reminded of the reality of the situation that for I, or all of us who live in the underclass there is no light anymore.

Continue to “the latter part: the cries of life of those without their names.





京都三条会商店街北 薬膳&カフェ 雅(みやび) サイト制作・運営 一般社団法人シシン