Shuwon-doji: A Ridiculous Comic Story

Noooo~! Damn it!!

Like this, Wachi (I) was then screaming and ranting like crazy and crying a great, great, great deal. In the treasure house in Uji Byodoin, I cried and cried, my face soaking wet with tears, my nose running and tears streaming down my face. Wachi was crying anyway.

Agonizing cries, screaming, and shouting! Damn it~~!

“Shut up!”

I, who are crying and whining like a little boy, like an idiot snot-nosed little boy. Looking at the sight, one finally snapped at it because it was too noisy.

“What’s that ogre been crying about all this time?”

The one who snapped was the Dragon God, who is said to guard the treasure house in Uji. This Dragon God, who usually lives underwater, is said to emerge from the river every night at the stroke of an ox and inspect the treasure house. But Wachi’s cries were so loud that he did not wait for the Ox to come out of the water and daunt me like an ogre.

“Hey, shut up! Will you shut up, you stupid ogre?”

“It’s so loud, I can’t stand it. Tell me why you’re crying. I’ll listen to everything you have to say.”
“Really true!? It’s really, really true!?” Wachi asked the Dragon God.
“Oh, my God, you’re so noisy. I’ll listen to you, just talk to me.”
So Wachi began to tell the Dragon God the truth of the matter.
Dragon God, please listen to me. In fact, Wachi is a demon that once resided on Mt. Oe, north-west of the capital of Kyoto, Heian-kyo. People in the world used to call Wachi, that, partly because I loved to drink.

Shuten-Doji

As you can see, Wachi at that time was such a frightening appearance that it made many people tremble. During the reign of the then Emperor Ichijo (reigned 986 – 1011),
the Heian kyo was prosperous, but only a handful of regal nobles enjoyed a stable lifestyle. The life of ordinary people is, well, terrible. It was a world of poverty, desolation, anxiety and fear, you know.

So as a demon who defied royal authority in such a world, I, too, did my utmost to make the tyranny, including the kidnapping of princesses from the capital one after another!

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Tyrannical king, that’s what Shuten-doji is.

Wachi was making tyranny endlessly like this. However, in hindsight, that was not the right thing to do. This led to Wachi’s presence being made known to the Imperial Court, and eventually a warrior called Minamono no Yorimitu raided my ‘hidden village’ on Mt. Oe and successfully defeated me.

That was careless. That’s why I shouldn’t have done it.

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Minamoto no Yorimitu, a warrior who wielded power in association with the Fujiwara regents. He came to Wachi’s stronghold, Onigajo Castle in Hidden Village, dressed as a mountain priest with four warriors (they were called the Four Heavenly Kings of Yoshimitu, etc.), and pretended that they were my comrades, and drank with Wachi. Unsuspecting of this, Wachi drank with them and ended up drunk and asleep.

The good sake they recommended to Wachi. In fact, this was not a tasty drink at all, but nothing short of the most poisonous of poisons for Wachi.

It is known as ‘Jinpenki Dokushu’.
Ah ~, just remembering it makes me angry!

Listen to me. This sake is terrible. Why? This sake gives strong power to Yorimitu’s party but for me as a demon it quickly changes to poisons. Terrible, too terrible! (According to what I heard, this sake is a gift to Yorimitu’s party by Iwashimizu Hachimangu Shrine, Kumano Gongen deities in the form of an old man. They’ve done unnecessary things, those old bastards).

So Wachi, who had been given such a bad sake, was completely drunk and was mercilessly beaten up by Yorimitu and his party when I was asleep in my bedroom.

“Shuten-doji it is the end for you doing wrong-doings!”
Be vanquished!

I got your head!!

The demon king, struck down!

Wachi was then beheaded, but still resisted and attacked Yorimitu with only my head.

I wanted to pounce on the top of his head and kill him by gnawing on his head with my own sharp fangs, but it was in vain. He had quickly stacked the helmets of his companions Watanabe tuna and Sakata Kintoki on top of his own, making a triple-folded helmets. While I was rifling through his helmets, Wachi’s eyes were plucked out with a sword and I finally died.

And after that, Wachi’s head was placed in the treasure house of Uji Byodoin, the ‘inner center’ of the kingdom, and here I was today.

The Dragon God, who listened to Wachi’s story patiently without saying a word, said one at the end. “Hmm, Minamoto no Yorimitu did well. Then Shuten doji, from now on I shall use your power to the fullest to protect the kingdom.”

The end

References

Kazuhiko Komatu, ‘The head of Shuten doji: The Symbolization of the “Outside” in Medieval Kingly Anecdote’, 1997, Serikabo Inc. (Later reproduced in Kazuhiko Komatu, ‘Oni and Japanese people’, 2018, KADOKAWA Co.)
‘Kyoto Makai map affixed – Kyoto Back-History Romantic Journey Traced with Maps and Photographs (Besatu Takarajima 2356)’ (2015 Takarajima-sha).
Masaaki Takahashi, ‘Ryugu no Shuten Doji)’ (Masaaki Takahashi, ‘Regular book, The birth of Shuten Doji – Another Japanese culture’, Chapter 3. 2020, Iwanami Shoten).

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Author

じゅうべい(Jubei)
Hello everyone. I am Jubei, an earthling whose energy does not stop today. What I like is playing (manga, movies, music (J-Rock, etc.) and visiting cafes). Thank you for your understanding.